By Emily Brewer

Overcoming the limitations of disabilities can be daunting. It almost drove Russ McClelland to suicide.

When multiple sclerosis hit him six years ago - crippling his arms and legs - McClelland had to give up his job as building materials manager at a hardware store in Cary, N.C. He wondered how he could support his wife and four children, when he could hardly support himself.

Just when he had lost hope, McClelland found Virtual Buddies - an online network of disabled people in North Carolina, and, he discovered, a supporting web of friends.

"The more I began to find out about the group, the more I began to see a future and I finally saw a way out of the predicament I was in," he says. "Virtual Buddies has meant everything to me and it is hard to tell which way I would be headed now if it were not for all of my Virtual Buddies."

While the Virtual Buddies are tied to just North Carolina, the group's success may make it a model for future programs in other states.

The organization, formed in the spring of 1997, supported by the Kate B. Reynolds Charitable Trust and administered through the Charlotte Institute of Rehabilitation, equips low-income, disabled residents across the state with computers and software designed to help the disabled use computers. The organization also supplies Internet service and sends trainers into their homes to teach disabled people how to use the technology.

In dabbling with computers, McClelland discovered a valuable knack - and a renewed desire to live. He received his computer in May, and as a regional trainer he has initiated four people into the world of technology.

The program received two years worth of funding from the Reynolds Trust in 1996 and just received funding for another year. Project coordinator Kathy Fletcher says she has 190 qualified people on the waiting list for a computer and hopes to place 75 systems during the next year.

The program has helped many disabled people. One couple who met through connections made possible by Virtual Buddies got married in October.

While the rest of the world may look at them and see their limitations, the Virtual Buddies help each other bring to light each one's strengths and potential, they say.

On their own, they have organized several gatherings around the state, coordinating transportation and working out details among themselves. For some buddies, these gatherings mark the first time they have ventured out on their own with friends.

"At any given time, day or night, I can find someone to talk to," says Sharon Chandler, a 40-year-old resident of Thomasville, N.C. who has a condition called reflex sympathetic dystrophy syndrome.

"It has stopped a lot of lonely tears because it relieved me of the knowledge that I am not alone," she says. "They listen and understand when no one else does."

Behind every e-mail address is a name and a story of cerebral palsy, multiple sclerosis, visual impairment, muscular dystrophy, epilepsy or other debilitating conditions. They're also tales of triumph.

"The VBs have enriched my life," says Connie Schuner, who has been mostly paralyzed since a spinal cord injury in 1994. "The minute I am transferred out of bed, I want to head to my computer. I no longer feel so isolated and different, and I look forward to hearing from everyone. Whether it is to ask for advice, to read a humorous story, or to share something important, the Virtual Buddies are always there for me."

Once the send button is pressed, no one knows the messages Schuner taps out with her mouth stick from her wheelchair may have taken hours to compose.

Now numbering more than 80, the group shares needs, respect and love with each other. The Internet poses a forum where everyone is author, thinker and able communicator - where users can check in their disabilities before they enter, because no one is judged on how well they see, hear, walk or move, Fletcher says.

The buddies plugged in now say they want to see the program thrive and continue to shape other lives as it has theirs.

"The greatest reward I've received from the group is the heightened feeling of self worth," says Minnie Harper, 42, from Snow Hill, N.C. Harper is severely paralyzed, has a blind left eye and has suffered second- and third-degree burns over much of her upper body and face. She also has a terminal lung disorder.

"The members make me and others feel a true sense of belonging, that our input in the group makes a positive difference in each other's lives," she says.

"Being a Buddy gives me the opportunity to erase or block some of the visible and nonvisible barriers so-called 'normal' people place in society."

Emily Brewer can be reached at
emilybrewer@mindspring.com